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“No more than my space, no less than my place”

…is an ancient proverb regarding humility. Like the Japanese coans and the hindu mantras, it is meant to be repeated over and over unfolding like the blossoming of a rose inside your mind…

Humility Unfolds within us as a blossoming flower

The Greatest of all Worldly Rewards

Of all the traits, Humility is the gateway to the greatest worldly reward. Displeased with your life situation? Humility instantly transforms the most difficult and tedious tasks in acts of delight and joy.

Displeased with your material wealth? Humility instantly affords you gratitude in the replacement of greed. When truly embraced humility frees us at the deepest level. But like all great treasures, it is the most securely guarded and difficult to reach of all the traits.

The path to humility is bordered on all sides by treacherous pitfalls and cavernous ravines. If you want more from life, Humility will give you the joy of the present moment, but you must be careful not to become ‘apathetic’ or ‘lazy’. You must take pride in all that you do, but be careful not to become vain or arrogant…

It is a difficult trait to master…

Today’s Exercise:

As we go into the weekend now, it’s time to make the habits of Humility practical, so here’s the practice for today and for over the weekend: Listening to others. It’s really an easy practice, and you don’t have to do much, but it’s also really easy to mess it up! It’s easy to fake listening, but that’s not humility now is it?

What we are after here is really listening to others with all your heart and attention, giving them your complete focus and caring about what they have to say. Being a good listener is the Essence of Humility. In this practice you are going to try and keep others talking (it’s pretty easy), but your goal here is to not tell anyone your opinions about anything. This is a practice of humbly and actively listening. You stop telling others your opinion for one whole weekend can’t you?

Here’s three specific goals to aim for this weekend, see how many times you can get each one:

  1. Don’t offer Solutions or Opinions: Unless they say, “What do you think I should do?” (offering solutions and opinions when not specifically asked for them is a form of vanity) Most of the time, people just want a good listener to help them get their thoughts clear…
  2. Ask questions which rephrase what they just said, but begin the phrase “So you feel like…”
  3. Make statements which rephrase what they just said, and end with the phrase, “Is that Right?”

Examples:

Mary says: “John has just been so distant lately, I can’t seem to get through to him…”

You respond: “So you feel like he’s being really distant and uncommunicative?”

Or… “Sounds like you’re having some troubles communicating with one another is that right?

I know it sounds ridiculously simple. But 99% of the time people just want to know that it’s okay for them to keep talking. Those two simple phrases give them permission to tell you more while rephrasing things back to them shows them that you are actively listening and interested…

See how many times you can use these phrases and techniques over the weekend! Remember, Don’t solve others problems! If you get people talking long enough, they will always reveal their problems… so try not to offer solutions and opinions! Just listen and care!!!!!!!!

You will be amazed at what happens!

See you Monday! Have a Great weekend!
Daniel

Next Week: Gratitude: The Most Rapid Return >>

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